Just seen The Hobbit – the Desolation of Smaug, and it’s happened again.
I’d kind of forgotten about it. It happened in the first film and took me completely by surprise. And it bloody well happened again today during the second film.
The hot dwarf thing.
I find myself undeniably and quite pant-wettingly attracted to a short man with big boots, large, stubby hands and a hell of a lot of hair. I’m not alone, of course, I know that, so there is a certain reassurance in that. But I go into these films thinking: ‘Nah. Ain’t gonna happen. He’s a mythical creature who’s at least a foot shorter than me and has a really weird preoccupation with hammers and fur.’
But then this happens:
and then strange things start happening to me in places I don’t normally think about while sitting watching a family film.
Is there a helpline for this? Or should I just go with it?
I think maybe I’ll just go with it. In fact, I may go with it so much that I have to go and see it again in 3D. I bet his sword looks really good in 3D.